I've often been asked about my opinions or politics surrounding fat men. I have long hesitated to speak on this issue - despite its significance - because (1) my background and expertise lie in the study and advocacy of women and (2) I hadn't dedicated enough time to figuring out my ideas on the way that fatphobia affects men, especially considering the ways that I feel that fatphobia is so heavily mediated by gender (i.e., fatphobia in so many ways is about hating and policing women and our bodies). What I've realized recently is that in some ways the fatphobia that fat men experience is as a result of sexism. In researching this idea, I found that fat men are often perceived as feminine. I found that fat men are often perceived as possessing "looser morals" or less discipline - traits historically ascribed to women/femininity. I also found many themes that pointed to fatphobia toward men, at its roots, being about anxiety that men were becoming woman-like. So, I believe that it is sexism and the deep cultural hatred of the feminine - not the hatred of men who are fat, per se - that leads to some (possibly many) of the instances of fatphobia that men experience. In reviewing images and articles related to fat men there were three themes that struck me: 1. Chemical Feminization Even Dr. Oz is worried that men's belly fat "increases the conversion of testosterone into estrogen." In a Salon article dated September 8, 2010, entitled "Sex Researchers: 'Size' Does Matter" (Subtitle: "Study shows that fatter men last longer in bed. Should Americans rejoice?"), Judy Mandelbaum writes "Men with excess fat showed higher levels of the female estradiol sex hormone. This substance apparently disrupted their bodies’ natural 'male' neurotransmitter chemicals and slowed their progression towards orgasm. Ironically, the less masculine their bodies appeared, the better lovers they proved to be." 2. Fat Castration In searching images and articles on fat men, a popular meme related to fat men's bodies is what I started calling the "fat castration" meme: literally the idea that fat men cannot find their penis (this level of condescension is typically reserved only for women, by the way) or haven't seen their penis in years or are otherwise metaphorically castrated by their fat: 3. "Moob" Development
Another source of anxiety expressed toward fat men's bodies is the development of breasts - otherwise known as the shame-inducing neologism "moobs." This phenomenon is described as "disgusting" (UrbanDictionary), and treatment suggestions - surgical and otherwise - abound online. In an article for Men's Health on "banishing" your man boobs, the author writes: "You probably love a great set of breasts—as long as you’re not the one sporting them." This seems to draw parallels between compulsory heterosexuality, masculinity and body size - subtly policing the boundaries of sexuality by pointing out that only women should have breasts and as a man you should be attracted to them and if you have "moobs" then you are confusing heteronormativity and blurring the culturally sanctioned bifurcation between men and women. It is clear that there are many, many reasons that men experience fatphobia, most of which I did not go into here. However, I feel that sexism is a major factor certainly in the ways that fat men are rhetoricized online. The anxiety that fat men are becoming women or exhibiting traits historically ascribed to women, I believe, is at the heart of at least some of the fatphobia that fat men experience. For this reason I believe that the treatment of fat men is a feminist issue, deserving consideration and inquiry that do not seek to deny male privilege - which fat men do possess - but to interrogate the ways in which fat men's bodies are constructed culturally and the ways that this construction affects the treatment of women and the policing of gender non-conformity.
Triad
9/6/2013 07:34:30 am
I was really hoping you'd at least talk about how there is still some privilege in being a fat man. I mean, would a woman as big as Chris Christie ever win a public office?
Virgie Tovar
9/7/2013 06:21:21 am
I think I did address masculine privilege, and agree that this issue interfaces specifically with femininity in a significantly more harmful way that is not buffered by things like male privilege.
virgie
9/6/2013 10:58:04 am
Yes I have thought heaps about this esp since I identify as a size queen
virgietovar
9/6/2013 11:05:48 am
I have been writing a piece on penis size and fatphobia for almost a year grappling with my own shit and how I connect my size queenness with my own experience of sluthood (& developing penis size preferences) which I feel definitely has connections to the fatphobia I've experienced from fat and thin men romantically. I mean to say I wanted sex but most men I met didn't want to date me because I am fat and so I learned that if I wanted a lot of sex I would need lots of partners and the size queen thing developed from that experience.
William
9/6/2013 10:17:39 pm
As a fat guy I am often critical of Fat Acceptance because I feel that it still clings to too much Fat Acceptance/Fetish Ideology from the days when Fat Acceptance had a Semi-partnership with Dimensions Magazine.
Virgie Tovar
9/7/2013 06:12:48 am
There is quite a bit of discussion on the masculinzing effects of fat on fat women. I didn't go into it here because I feel that it's an entirely different post that requires consideration. But I wrote about masculinity/gender dysphoria among fat women in my MA thesis, "How Fat Women of Color Queer the Feminine," and I KNOW that if you looked this up you would be able to see quite clearly that this conversation is undoubtedly happening.
William
9/7/2013 07:14:05 am
Sorry Virgie
Virgie Tovar
9/7/2013 06:20:12 am
I also think you're flatly characterizing Fat Acceptance without any consideration of radical fat activism and the parts of the fat movement that are presided by fat queers of all genders who practice liberatory/feminist ideology.
William
9/7/2013 07:27:29 am
It only takes for one of the many Genders in Fat Acceptance to be singled out and measured not by the supportive standards of Fat Acceptance, but the harsh bias that Society set for all fat people for Fat Acceptance to have failed.
Branko
9/7/2013 05:45:30 am
So society is awful for shaming fat men's bodies, but then, as a size queen, you select sex partners based on their penis size (and I would assume shame those who don't "measure up")? Doesn't add up. If you're objectifying men's bodies yourself, then the ethos of this whole post suffers.
Virgie Tovar
9/7/2013 06:25:38 am
I don't think that my views can so didactically be articulated as "society is awful for doing..." As I believe I pointed out, I am working through my own internalized belief systems, and I think it's quite clear that my very real experiences of fatphobia and sexism have affected my sexuality. That being said, I think my size queen identity is borne out of experiences of oppression and marginalization from men of all sizes. I think that my choice to interface with masculinity with some level of power (or aggression, as you may experience it) works for me and my politic. I choose partners in a way that works for me and in a way that isn't perfect and in a way that ensures my happiness and survival.
Mary
11/7/2013 02:48:51 am
I'm not familiar with the study of fat phobia, but I have certainly experienced it, both for myself, and for my family. My ex was quite heavy (400lbs at his heaviest, and 6'3"), and it definitely affected his standing amongst his peers. While he garners some respect just for being a big, macho guy (he was a small-engine repair technician), he also had people make fun both to his face and behind his back. One "friend" in particular was quite evil, being all bro-mance to his face, but making fun behind his back. My ex cried three times in the 17 years we were married- Once when each of our children were born, and once when he overheard the unkind comments his "best friend" made to another volunteer fireman about "don't send him up on the roof; he's liable to fall through! hahaha"
William
11/7/2013 06:10:12 am
Mary
William
11/7/2013 06:10:26 am
Mary
William
11/7/2013 06:10:42 am
Mary
Bob
11/7/2013 06:11:21 am
Mary
William
11/23/2013 04:21:17 am
Hi Mary
Charlia
12/5/2013 05:02:56 am
Hey William,
William
12/5/2013 09:26:24 am
Hi Charlia
William
12/7/2013 07:43:58 pm
It would be nice for once if someone would take the time to answer my questions if possible. Without closure I begin to wonder how many people in Fat Acceptance do not consider fat men to be part of the community or even have fat issues.
William
12/12/2013 09:24:14 pm
I know that I have been harping on the same subject for a while. The reason is that I will make a statement about people in Fat Acceptance who like Virgie Tovar focuses on some fat male bodies, not in a Fat Accepting mindset, but in vein that agrees more with the most negative that Society has to say about fat men. Virgie is basically saying that fat and masculinity do not mix.
William
12/12/2013 09:24:29 pm
I know that I have been harping on the same subject for a while. The reason is that I will make a statement about people in Fat Acceptance who like Virgie Tovar focuses on some fat male bodies, not in a Fat Accepting mindset, but in vein that agrees more with the most negative that Society has to say about fat men. Virgie is basically saying that fat and masculinity do not mix.
William
12/31/2013 05:17:18 am
I am sad that no one here cares enough to discuss why similar negative thoughts of how fat women are unfeminine are not discussed in Fat Acceptance in similar vein as Virgie did here with fat male body issues?
m
6/10/2015 01:36:14 am
William, it's b/c you aren't listening to the responses. Her point was NOT to make fat men feel better about themselves but to point out what they deal with in society. She is not condoning it, only describing it and in doing so, inherently working to undo that construct. If the blogs or FA spaces you find aren't what you want, create your own then.
William
2/9/2014 06:22:47 am
Some more comments on this article
Joshua
5/5/2014 10:23:14 am
Having come upon this blog entry by way of hyperlink from another associated article, I discover myself more engaged in reading this one than that from whence it came. Not usually how it goes, but there you have it.
Mary
5/6/2014 08:19:19 am
Joshua, I've just got to say I'd likely deck someone who made the comments you describe to my ex, even though he's now an ex. What kind of idiot says things like that? I mean seriously... damn.
William
5/16/2014 01:26:04 am
Could someone please show us some examples of articles concerning fat female body issues similar to this article about fat male body issues?
johnathan
10/11/2014 04:16:30 am
no no no no no no no FUCK no. i'm sorry but thinking fat men are worth being mentioned or at least acknowledged because it's because they're perceived as women is really fucked up. I'm sorry but when i was obese since i was fucking 9 my main concern wasn't "looking like a woman" i thought i looked like a slob and i looked disgusting, i thought i looked lazy and felt that i looked stupid, unattractive and ugly. Have you ever seen movies where a fat dude is shamed because he looked feminine? or even games i might add???, and i hate the when people use oh but in movies and shows fat men are paired with trophy wives!(hello haven't you seen any of the queen latifah movies?, and i'm sure as fuck there's many more), umm if you haven't noticed fat men (fat people in general really) are used as fucking comedic props and their personality is centered around toxic assumptions about their body. or how about the years i've been verbally abused and bullied because of my weight? it DEFINITELY wasn't because i looked "feminine". I'm sorry but this really hit a sore spot, getting recognition or help because apparently male fatshaming is based on "sexism" rather than people thinking being fat is apparently disgusting and other negative things. this article seriously dismisses our experiences, because 'oh fat means curvy and curvy is feminine" is complete bullshit and it ERASES OUR EXPERIENCE S AS FAT MEN. fuck this dismissive bullshit, and me thinking that, finally! some recognition!, people acknowledge us! nope! i guess it's time to look for support somewhere else apparently! fuck this bullshit
Virgie Tovar
10/19/2014 04:50:41 am
Johnathan, Comments are closed.
|
Virgie Tovar
Virgie Tovar, MA is one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the founder of Babecamp (a 4 week online course focused on helping people break up with diet culture) and the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, 2012). She writes about the intersections of size, identity, sexuality and politics. See more updates on Facebook. Archives
April 2021
Categories
All
|