20 Days of New York Summer: August 2012
A summer day in San Francisco often entails suiting up with a scarf and sweater before weathering the elements, curling up with a cup of hot chocolate, ending with a day at the beach where you will get whooping cough and sand in your Doritos. You can spot a tourist because they're the only people not wearing a cardigan and leg-warmers. On the rare sunny day - and even rarer, warm and sunny day - you'll see San Franciscans emerge in droves with a barely contained elation. Finally, an actual reason to wear those ironic 80s aviators! In short: I wanted out. As much as I love this city by the bay, I find myself longing for the sweltering heat of the semi/tropics at least once a year. I love-hate-love stepping outside the cool cocoon of an apartment to be greeted by intense humidity. I love-hate-love the filthy exhaustion at the end of the day. I love-hate-love the communal sweating ritual. I spent most of Summer 2011 in Bangkok and Beijing, and deciduous forest be damned, I needed some (consistent) sunshine. So, I headed to New York...
A summer day in San Francisco often entails suiting up with a scarf and sweater before weathering the elements, curling up with a cup of hot chocolate, ending with a day at the beach where you will get whooping cough and sand in your Doritos. You can spot a tourist because they're the only people not wearing a cardigan and leg-warmers. On the rare sunny day - and even rarer, warm and sunny day - you'll see San Franciscans emerge in droves with a barely contained elation. Finally, an actual reason to wear those ironic 80s aviators! In short: I wanted out. As much as I love this city by the bay, I find myself longing for the sweltering heat of the semi/tropics at least once a year. I love-hate-love stepping outside the cool cocoon of an apartment to be greeted by intense humidity. I love-hate-love the filthy exhaustion at the end of the day. I love-hate-love the communal sweating ritual. I spent most of Summer 2011 in Bangkok and Beijing, and deciduous forest be damned, I needed some (consistent) sunshine. So, I headed to New York...
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Day 15: Back to Smith Street
I couldn't get enough! Smith Street has some of the best food in New York. Period. There I said it. My curiosity led me to an incredible local table spot called Seersucker, where they have the best biscuit box and home-made jams (cherry with mustard seed jam, chili jam and salted maple butter) and the sparkling water is as complimentary as the still (classy points!). I popped into Smith Canteen for the best coffee in Brooklyn (and artisanal ring dings, made in house) and then into a candy shop right off the main drag.
Day 15: Back to Smith Street
I couldn't get enough! Smith Street has some of the best food in New York. Period. There I said it. My curiosity led me to an incredible local table spot called Seersucker, where they have the best biscuit box and home-made jams (cherry with mustard seed jam, chili jam and salted maple butter) and the sparkling water is as complimentary as the still (classy points!). I popped into Smith Canteen for the best coffee in Brooklyn (and artisanal ring dings, made in house) and then into a candy shop right off the main drag.
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Day 14: 3rd Annual Ice Cream Sunday at New Amsterdam Market
I cannot resist the allure of a frozen dairy product. In reading an article in New York Mag (or maybe Glamour?) on the popsicle and ice cream renaissance afoot in the city, there was mention of an alluring mistress of Mexican-inspired flavors, La New Yorkina. I visited her website and found that she doesn't have a shop nor does she sell any one place consistently. I was disappointed. I read further. However, she would be at an event happening that very weekend called Ice Cream Sunday that happens only once a year in the summer at the New Amsterdam Market off South Street. A $30 ticket would buy you 10 mini-cone-fulls of premier New York, small-batch ice creams and sorbets + entry into the event one hour before the less dairy-enthusiastic among us. I showed up about an hour early to check out the other local epicureans and got some incredible blueberry and peach monkey bread from a Brooklyn bakery that had recently done a wedding that featured a profiterole tree (when one profiterole was taken from the tree it was replaced by a candle! aww!) in lieu of a traditional wedding cake. I got some Pennsylvania cheese, jams, pickles. This little artisan hot spot is worth the visit and the view of the Brooklyn Bridge is amazing. At noon the tickets were dispensed and so began my strategic flavor quest (they were all absolutely delicious, but favorites are highlighted):
Day 14: 3rd Annual Ice Cream Sunday at New Amsterdam Market
I cannot resist the allure of a frozen dairy product. In reading an article in New York Mag (or maybe Glamour?) on the popsicle and ice cream renaissance afoot in the city, there was mention of an alluring mistress of Mexican-inspired flavors, La New Yorkina. I visited her website and found that she doesn't have a shop nor does she sell any one place consistently. I was disappointed. I read further. However, she would be at an event happening that very weekend called Ice Cream Sunday that happens only once a year in the summer at the New Amsterdam Market off South Street. A $30 ticket would buy you 10 mini-cone-fulls of premier New York, small-batch ice creams and sorbets + entry into the event one hour before the less dairy-enthusiastic among us. I showed up about an hour early to check out the other local epicureans and got some incredible blueberry and peach monkey bread from a Brooklyn bakery that had recently done a wedding that featured a profiterole tree (when one profiterole was taken from the tree it was replaced by a candle! aww!) in lieu of a traditional wedding cake. I got some Pennsylvania cheese, jams, pickles. This little artisan hot spot is worth the visit and the view of the Brooklyn Bridge is amazing. At noon the tickets were dispensed and so began my strategic flavor quest (they were all absolutely delicious, but favorites are highlighted):
- Mole Spice (Oaxacan) from La New Yorkina
- Fresh Mint with Madecasse Chocolate Freckles from Luca & Bosco
- Summerlong Basil from Marlow & Sons
- Coconut Lemongrass from Rouge Tomate
- Strawberry and Fennel from Esca
- Bitter Almonds and Apricots from Il Buco Alimentari & Vineria
- Salted Cantaloupe and Wild Ginger from Steve's Ice Cream (the makers of Brooklyn Blackout, featured in this very diary!)
- Caramelized Honey with Candied Black Walnuts from Early Bird Cookery
- Dulce de Leche from Dreamscoops
- Hay from Van Leeuwen
La New Yorkina, spicy mole ice cream
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I loved the bitter almond and apricot from Il Buco
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tiny tasting cones
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monkey bread
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Day 11: My Long Lost Friend, Danielle, and Weekend Revelry
Day 11: My Long Lost Friend, Danielle, and Weekend Revelry
Mmm! Arepas. Whenever I'm NY I make sure to get one at the weekend market. It's a warm sweet corn crust with melty mozarella in the middle grilled over an open flame.
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I happened upon a little celebre at Cedric, a bistro in Harlem, with yummy drinks and a dj.
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On my way to Danielle's, I stop to pick up some cupcakes at Make My Cake on 116th and St. Nicholas. Strawberry, red velvet and chocolate with icy milk.
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I met Danielle when I lived in New York right before I graduated from college. Back then I thought I was really cool because I did slam poetry. We were both in the Union Semester program at Queens College, dedicated to young community organizers interested in labor politics and history. Danielle went to Sarah Lawrence, is about 5 feet tall and has a penchant for purple leather riding gloves and frank conversations about the state of race, class and gender. She loves red velvet cupcakes. Post-pastry we watched the second half of a basketball game. There were many sweaty menz. That night I was starting to hit the peak of my virus and she was kind enough to inform me that (1) I probably didn't have conjunctivitis but (2) I definitely had a growing eye booger over dinner. D is a newly married lady (her hubby proposed to her on the Empire State Building) with a puppy. So we parted ways at 11ish.
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Day 9: Long Island
Some of Julia's family lives on L.I. so we took the LIRR to the Hicksville station and spent the afternoon at a rather fancy outdoor pool facility with a water slide. Having never "ridden" or "gone down" a water slide before, I was suitably concerned and rightly so! It turns out that being fat makes physics go faster. I whizzed down the slide and hit the bottom (= thinly painted pointy cement) of the tiny pool at the foot of it and I ended up with a scraped arm. Boo! Thankfully there were high school Long Islander life guards to administer a stinging anti-bacterial treatment. Unfortunately, not even the painful anti-bac could stop the heinousness that was already afoot: a cold.
Day 9: Long Island
Some of Julia's family lives on L.I. so we took the LIRR to the Hicksville station and spent the afternoon at a rather fancy outdoor pool facility with a water slide. Having never "ridden" or "gone down" a water slide before, I was suitably concerned and rightly so! It turns out that being fat makes physics go faster. I whizzed down the slide and hit the bottom (= thinly painted pointy cement) of the tiny pool at the foot of it and I ended up with a scraped arm. Boo! Thankfully there were high school Long Islander life guards to administer a stinging anti-bacterial treatment. Unfortunately, not even the painful anti-bac could stop the heinousness that was already afoot: a cold.
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Day 8: Smith Street & Pedicures!
Today Julia and I went and had cookies and pedicures on one of the cutest/hippest streets in Brooklyn, Smith Street, home to Seersucker, Smith Canteen and, oh yes, Free People.
Day 8: Smith Street & Pedicures!
Today Julia and I went and had cookies and pedicures on one of the cutest/hippest streets in Brooklyn, Smith Street, home to Seersucker, Smith Canteen and, oh yes, Free People.
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12pm:
Though the skies were gray, today had an auspicious beginning because I decided to wear a hair flower, my new bright yellow fatgirl bangle and a near see-through tank top. |
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Pedicure on Smith Street.
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1 sunflower seed butter and strawberry jelly cookie + 1 salted chocolate cookie + 1 iced coffee + 1 copy of Tattler!
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3pm: After receiving multiple emergency weather/flash flood warning texts from my phone, Julia and I - both being Californians - of course were befuddled and this information was taken with great skepticism. Halfway through our pedis it began to hail. So, we decided to make the most of it and stay in the massage chairs for an extra hour. We fortuitously found a cab, but unfortunately he had neither a GPS nor any idea how to take us home. So, Julia paid him $5 to take us to the closest subway station. We got soaked on the walk back and decided to stay home, watch Toddlers and Tiaras and do laundry. |
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Day 6: Drinks, Central Park & Side Braids
Day 6: Drinks, Central Park & Side Braids
bringing back the side braid
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Brooklyn mural
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no, I'm not condoning Central Park horse abuse.
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fizzy water with muddled blackberries and cucumbers. mm!
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the best iced mocha ever from Prodigy Coffee!
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mm! cantaloupe sorbet from Victory Garden. they turned up the volume when we started dancing to "I Come From a Land Down Under!"
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Today was bizzy wizzy! We ate pickles and pastrami @ Pastrami Queen, ate cantaloupe sorbet with goat milk in it or something, drank an amazing wonderful iced mocha, got fat girl bangles, went to Grand Central Station, the Met for high tea (and missed it by 3 minutes), and went to Bryant Park for a biz meeting! |
Eat. Think. Pickle. Julia is so happy with her pickle on a stick. wee!
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Brooklyn Blackout! Small batch ice cream made right here in ny <3
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vogue.
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Pastrami Queen! oh yes, that's zagat rated pastrami.
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Jules in front of Pastrami Queen. This deli is tres kosher. There was literally no cheese+meat marriage.
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jelly wedges. I needed every one.
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5:55am. sun rises over Brooklyn.
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Day 5: Today was basically like the Ashley and Mary Kate movie New York Minute... 
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12pm: Step off the 81st Street stop into the Upper West Side Sunday Farmer's Market and nibble our way through jelly-filled donuts, truffle infused goat cheese, wasabi pickles and strawberry mint juice.
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1pm: We go to my fav flea market on Columbus Street. Julia finds some nautical portraits from a lady named Phyllis who used to work at Columbia Pictures and told us all about Old Hollywood and how everything was part of "the fix" back then, which is to say that you if you were part of the pimp game you could literally get your driver's license even if you couldn't drive, which is totally what happened to Phyllis. Decided I was going to begin incorporating "the fix" into my daily vocabulary. There was much costume jewelry, tiny cateye glasses on a stick, and vintage fur that required intense resistance on my part. |
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3pm:
Shake Shack for lunch! This is Julia's inaugural visit, and I am delighted to introduce her to the ridiculiciousness. 4pm: Relaxy time in Central Park. Chub rub shorts save the day - again. Cloud gazing. 4:45pm: It's a well-kept secret but from 4:45-5:45 the Museum of Natural History (my favorite museum in all the world) is completely free. 6pm: Head to Conway for cheap poorly made clothing. Yay! |
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7pm: We get a text from Julia's cousin, Melissa, who asks us if we want to get dinner and drinks in Park Slope. Yes! We take the F train back into Brooklyn and end up at Brook-Vin for BBQ pork sandwich, bacon mac and cheese, bacon jelly tartine and sangria. 10pm: Back at home. Night night. <3 |
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Day 4:
12pm: Leave apartment for trip to Target in Flatbush for granny panties and Sally Hansen Salon Effects and a tooth brush and whatever else Target will most certainly inspire.
1pm: I bring up a serious topic on the escalator to Target and me & Julia have a mini fighty-poo over our communication ish. And then there was a really long bout of the silence for like hours, and then I passively aggressively put on Julia's second favorite Sally Hansen Effects nails instead of her first favorite, and then I was like "are we not talking because you don't want to talk or because you think I don't want to talk?" anyway, I cried a little but we hugged it out and then proceeded as usual. Overall, I think things went well.
Day 4:
12pm: Leave apartment for trip to Target in Flatbush for granny panties and Sally Hansen Salon Effects and a tooth brush and whatever else Target will most certainly inspire.
1pm: I bring up a serious topic on the escalator to Target and me & Julia have a mini fighty-poo over our communication ish. And then there was a really long bout of the silence for like hours, and then I passively aggressively put on Julia's second favorite Sally Hansen Effects nails instead of her first favorite, and then I was like "are we not talking because you don't want to talk or because you think I don't want to talk?" anyway, I cried a little but we hugged it out and then proceeded as usual. Overall, I think things went well.
Sally Hansen nails of passive aggression
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7:30pm:
walk around Flatbush Ave. in my cute faux Versace dress, get propositioned by 4 dudes... at the same time, but I'm too busy talking on my phone. get pizza for $2 and decide it's time to go home. Eat most of Julia's dinner, become delirious. All that processing and nail application made me exhausted! |
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Day 3:
1pm: Yes, I slept in. Julia went to yoga in the morning and then came home and napped. I had another intense wiener dream, this time involving 3 hot menz competing for my womanly affections. One of them gave me a boat as a gift. I'm not sure what all this means, but the sex dreams have certainly begun to increase in frequency since I turned 30.
Day 3:
1pm: Yes, I slept in. Julia went to yoga in the morning and then came home and napped. I had another intense wiener dream, this time involving 3 hot menz competing for my womanly affections. One of them gave me a boat as a gift. I'm not sure what all this means, but the sex dreams have certainly begun to increase in frequency since I turned 30.
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3pm:
After the Oxenrose Ombre Disaster of 2012, I decide to wrench my hair care from the tyranny of the sheers of hip SF salons and take matters into my own hands. Curly/wavy folks can get away with this kind of anarchy. |
I manage to get Julia to belt this cute over-sized polka dot top she got yesterday at F21 - despite adamant protestations. Rules #1-3: belt it! 4pm: |
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4:30pm: We head into Manhattan to meet up with Julia's cousin, Melissa, for Museum of Sex and dindin. We end up leaving MoS early because the air conditioning is broken and it's hard to look at sexy time exhibits when you're sweaty.
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cyber skin boobie!
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This is you on masturbation.. or so they say.
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7pm:
MoMoFuKu After a quick stop at Madison Square Park we decided on dining at Momofuku. I had to give into the hype. |
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brisket bun!
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sangria slushie!
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Day 2:
10am: Wake up after having had strange dream about being an on-the-run prostitute who kills a man with a 14-inch wienie.
11:30am: Brunch date with Zoe at Cafe Madeleine! Nerd talk about the state of the fat movement, an iced latte, chive biscuit with eggs and bacon + financiers ensue. I pick up a rose on the way home to show I'm a good wifey.
Day 2:
10am: Wake up after having had strange dream about being an on-the-run prostitute who kills a man with a 14-inch wienie.
11:30am: Brunch date with Zoe at Cafe Madeleine! Nerd talk about the state of the fat movement, an iced latte, chive biscuit with eggs and bacon + financiers ensue. I pick up a rose on the way home to show I'm a good wifey.
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1:15pm: Heroically ride bus (using only the power of the Googles) to save on sweat time (will need that for later).
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2:15pm: Julia & I decide it's time to go into Manhattan. First stop: Warby Parker in SoHo for new eye wear! |
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4:30pm: Mandatory stop at F21, Ricky's & my personal favorite, Dean & Deluca on Prince Street, for current constant craving: smoked salmon and cream cheese on bagel (preferred with capers, but the dill worked out). Every time I get the chance to enter the hallowed halls of D&D I get the chocolate babka. Every. Time.
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6pm: Having been informed that the Forever 21 Plus Size line is only housed at the store near Times Square we decide to make a quick stop. Cue Laverne & Shirley theme song... doin' it our way!
Times Square
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in cheetah print we trust
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7pm: the hunt for dinner begins at a Greek place with no seating. 2 fat girls in Manhattan eating sans seating? Methinks no.
7:30pm: the hunt for dinner continues.
8pm: the hunt for dinner leads us to D'Agostino for brie, olives, beets and some foccaccia. No chilled bubbly water to be found!
7:30pm: the hunt for dinner continues.
8pm: the hunt for dinner leads us to D'Agostino for brie, olives, beets and some foccaccia. No chilled bubbly water to be found!
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10pm: the hunt for dinner leads us to a bus that goes from the Upper West Side to the Village, where we concede to the power of the pizza near Christopher Street. |
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11pm:
en route to the F train back to Brooklyn, we encounter Stonewall + Gay Street |
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Day 1:
3am: Between flirting with the gay flight steward and waking myself up with my own snorings, I obsessively watched that digital image of my plane as it closed in on NY. It happened to be Virgin America's 5th Anniversary and so we all got box wine at midnight!
7am: arrival at JFK. I decide that the budgeting girl must opt for subway despite all desires to the contrary. Good thing I'm packing light!
9am: arrive Fort Hamilton Parkway into the arms of bestie / biz partner, Julia. Escorted home and she offers to take my cheetah print companion up the 5 flights since the elevator is (temporarily) broken.
Day 1:
3am: Between flirting with the gay flight steward and waking myself up with my own snorings, I obsessively watched that digital image of my plane as it closed in on NY. It happened to be Virgin America's 5th Anniversary and so we all got box wine at midnight!
7am: arrival at JFK. I decide that the budgeting girl must opt for subway despite all desires to the contrary. Good thing I'm packing light!
9am: arrive Fort Hamilton Parkway into the arms of bestie / biz partner, Julia. Escorted home and she offers to take my cheetah print companion up the 5 flights since the elevator is (temporarily) broken.
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10am:
Brekkie at Qathra in Ditmas Park. Having been introduced to this spot on my last trip in November I've been dreaming of the coffee and egg sandwich. It turns out that Qathra is a 15 minute walk from our place on Ocean Parkway. Julia is introduced to cicadas and promptly decides they are creepy and gross. I stand by my lurve of them!
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12pm: spend way too much time choosing snacks (and 100% cocoa butter) because of 5% off of purchases over $50 incentive.
3pm: arrive back at apartment, change chub rub pants, watch Olympics with confused-judgy face, extended power nappypoo
6pm: shower, apply on-trend dark lipstick I found while cleaning my apartment before the flight. Julia is in the mood for something "fresh" and "light" and we both agree that we desire cilantro! make copious dinner plans, get lost in Brooklyn, end up in Park Slope eating lobster mac&cheese (sans cilantro) at Chip Shop.
10pm: finish up English Trifle with sprinkles and port instead of sherry.
3pm: arrive back at apartment, change chub rub pants, watch Olympics with confused-judgy face, extended power nappypoo
6pm: shower, apply on-trend dark lipstick I found while cleaning my apartment before the flight. Julia is in the mood for something "fresh" and "light" and we both agree that we desire cilantro! make copious dinner plans, get lost in Brooklyn, end up in Park Slope eating lobster mac&cheese (sans cilantro) at Chip Shop.
10pm: finish up English Trifle with sprinkles and port instead of sherry.
11pm: Watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!! featuring Honey Boo Boo visiting the Red Neck Games and her sister bobbing for raw pig feet.
12pm: sleepy time!
12pm: sleepy time!
