Fat Men Are A Feminist Issue

9/6/2013

I've often been asked about my opinions or politics surrounding fat men. I have long hesitated to speak on this issue - despite its significance - because (1) my background and expertise lie in the study and advocacy of women and (2) I hadn't dedicated enough time to figuring out my ideas on the way that fatphobia affects men, especially considering the ways that I feel that fatphobia is so heavily mediated by gender (i.e., fatphobia in so many ways is about hating and policing women and our bodies).

What I've realized recently is that in some ways the fatphobia that fat men experience is as a result of sexism. In researching this idea, I found that fat men are often perceived as feminine. I found that fat men are often perceived as possessing "looser morals" or less discipline - traits historically ascribed to women/femininity. I also found many themes that pointed to fatphobia toward men, at its roots, being about anxiety that men were becoming woman-like. So, I believe that it is sexism and the deep cultural hatred of the feminine - not the hatred of men who are fat, per se - that leads to some (possibly many) of the instances of fatphobia that men experience.

In reviewing images and articles related to fat men there were three themes that struck me:

1. Chemical Feminization
Even Dr. Oz is worried that men's belly fat "increases the conversion of testosterone into estrogen." In a Salon article dated September 8, 2010, entitled "Sex Researchers: 'Size' Does Matter" (Subtitle: "Study shows that fatter men last longer in bed. Should Americans rejoice?"), Judy Mandelbaum writes "Men with excess fat showed higher levels of the female estradiol sex hormone. This substance apparently disrupted their bodies’ natural 'male' neurotransmitter chemicals and slowed their progression towards orgasm. Ironically, the less masculine their bodies appeared, the better lovers they proved to be."

2. Fat Castration
In searching images and articles on fat men, a popular meme related to fat men's bodies is what I started calling the "fat castration" meme: literally the idea that fat men cannot find their penis (this level of condescension is typically reserved only for women, by the way) or haven't seen their penis in years or are otherwise metaphorically castrated by their fat:

image from quickmeme

image from demotivationalposters

3. "Moob" Development
Another source of anxiety expressed toward fat men's bodies is the development of breasts - otherwise known as the shame-inducing neologism "moobs." This phenomenon is described as "disgusting" (UrbanDictionary), and treatment suggestions - surgical and otherwise - abound online. In an article for Men's Health on "banishing" your man boobs, the author writes: "You probably love a great set of breasts—as long as you’re not the one sporting them." This seems to draw parallels between compulsory heterosexuality, masculinity and body size - subtly policing the boundaries of sexuality by pointing out that only women should have breasts and as a man you should be attracted to them and if you have "moobs" then you are confusing heteronormativity and blurring the culturally sanctioned bifurcation between men and women.

It is clear that there are many, many reasons that men experience fatphobia, most of which I did not go into here. However, I feel that sexism is a major factor certainly in the ways that fat men are rhetoricized online. The anxiety that fat men are becoming women or exhibiting traits historically ascribed to women, I believe, is at the heart of at least some of the fatphobia that fat men experience.

For this reason I believe that the treatment of fat men is a feminist issue, deserving consideration and inquiry that do not seek to deny male privilege - which fat men do possess - but to interrogate the ways in which fat men's bodies are constructed culturally and the ways that this construction affects the treatment of women and the policing of gender non-conformity.

Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar, MA is one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the founder of Babecamp (a 4 week online course focused on helping people break up with diet culture) and the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, 2012). She writes about the intersections of size, identity, sexuality and politics. See more updates on Facebook.

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Triad

9/6/2013 07:34:30 am

I was really hoping you'd at least talk about how there is still some privilege in being a fat man. I mean, would a woman as big as Chris Christie ever win a public office?

9/7/2013 06:21:21 am

I think I did address masculine privilege, and agree that this issue interfaces specifically with femininity in a significantly more harmful way that is not buffered by things like male privilege.

Bex link

9/6/2013 10:28:35 am

It occurs to me that there may also be issues, related to the "missing penis" meme you wrote about, where the obsession with penis size leads to male fatphobia, since the amount of abdominal fat a man has will have a dramatic effect on the visible size of his penis.

virgie

9/6/2013 10:58:04 am

Yes I have thought heaps about this esp since I identify as a size queen

virgietovar

9/6/2013 11:05:48 am

I have been writing a piece on penis size and fatphobia for almost a year grappling with my own shit and how I connect my size queenness with my own experience of sluthood (& developing penis size preferences) which I feel definitely has connections to the fatphobia I've experienced from fat and thin men romantically. I mean to say I wanted sex but most men I met didn't want to date me because I am fat and so I learned that if I wanted a lot of sex I would need lots of partners and the size queen thing developed from that experience.

William

9/6/2013 10:17:39 pm

As a fat guy I am often critical of Fat Acceptance because I feel that it still clings to too much Fat Acceptance/Fetish Ideology from the days when Fat Acceptance had a Semi-partnership with Dimensions Magazine.

As a fat guy I am always thankful to Fat Acceptance because at a point in my life I ran across a small online community of fat women practicing a Non-Fat Fetish style of Fat Acceptance. These ladies really hated what Fat Fetishes had done to NAAFA and Fat Acceptance back then.

In this article you are very free in pointing out how fat can feminize a fat man and unfortunately this is not uncommon in Fat Acceptance today. I say unfortunate because rarely in Fat Acceptance do you see similar statements about how fat on fat women can be unfeminine and often masculine.

Today in Fat Acceptance the Ideology is that fat on a female can only be viewed at feminine, curvy, hot, sexy and etc.
Until Fat Acceptance can look at fat women as realistically as if does with fat men the movement will be little more than a part of Fat Fetishism and not a true Fat Support Community.

9/7/2013 06:12:48 am

There is quite a bit of discussion on the masculinzing effects of fat on fat women. I didn't go into it here because I feel that it's an entirely different post that requires consideration. But I wrote about masculinity/gender dysphoria among fat women in my MA thesis, "How Fat Women of Color Queer the Feminine," and I KNOW that if you looked this up you would be able to see quite clearly that this conversation is undoubtedly happening.

9/7/2013 07:14:05 am

Sorry Virgie

I have had a ton of Fat Acceptance Blogs on my RSS Reader for years and I have never seen a article describing women with enough fat to cover their vaginas as unfeminine or masculine. It does not happen often, in fact you are more likely to see that kind of talk in Fat Fetish Areas because Men with Fat Fetishes get excited by talk like that.

Bianca link

9/8/2013 12:58:50 pm

holy crap, I NEED to read your thesis. Although I am not POC I feel that my genderqueer identity may on some level be linked to othering as a fat person, and subsequently alienation from heteronormative models of femininity.

9/7/2013 06:20:12 am

I also think you're flatly characterizing Fat Acceptance without any consideration of radical fat activism and the parts of the fat movement that are presided by fat queers of all genders who practice liberatory/feminist ideology.

9/7/2013 07:27:29 am

It only takes for one of the many Genders in Fat Acceptance to be singled out and measured not by the supportive standards of Fat Acceptance, but the harsh bias that Society set for all fat people for Fat Acceptance to have failed.

In Society there is no such thing as a curvy, sexy, beautiful fat woman, but Fat Acceptance chooses to reject that mindset and travel a different path. When it comes to fat men it seems that Fat Acceptance is more likely to agree with Society’s views, your article is a good example.

Branko

9/7/2013 05:45:30 am

So society is awful for shaming fat men's bodies, but then, as a size queen, you select sex partners based on their penis size (and I would assume shame those who don't "measure up")? Doesn't add up. If you're objectifying men's bodies yourself, then the ethos of this whole post suffers.

9/7/2013 06:25:38 am

I don't think that my views can so didactically be articulated as "society is awful for doing..." As I believe I pointed out, I am working through my own internalized belief systems, and I think it's quite clear that my very real experiences of fatphobia and sexism have affected my sexuality. That being said, I think my size queen identity is borne out of experiences of oppression and marginalization from men of all sizes. I think that my choice to interface with masculinity with some level of power (or aggression, as you may experience it) works for me and my politic. I choose partners in a way that works for me and in a way that isn't perfect and in a way that ensures my happiness and survival.

Mary

11/7/2013 02:48:51 am

I'm not familiar with the study of fat phobia, but I have certainly experienced it, both for myself, and for my family. My ex was quite heavy (400lbs at his heaviest, and 6'3"), and it definitely affected his standing amongst his peers. While he garners some respect just for being a big, macho guy (he was a small-engine repair technician), he also had people make fun both to his face and behind his back. One "friend" in particular was quite evil, being all bro-mance to his face, but making fun behind his back. My ex cried three times in the 17 years we were married- Once when each of our children were born, and once when he overheard the unkind comments his "best friend" made to another volunteer fireman about "don't send him up on the roof; he's liable to fall through! hahaha"

Hate and discrimination need to stop. Weight does come with health concerns, but that is not an excuse for people to point fingers, make assumptions, or otherwise act like complete douchebags.

Thanks for speaking out on the subject. It's about time someone did.
Mary

11/7/2013 06:10:12 am

Mary

The problem that I have with this article is that the Author seems to be agreeing with these negative statements of fat men instead of rejecting them like Fat Acceptance has always done with the negative things people say about fat women

11/7/2013 06:10:26 am

11/7/2013 06:10:42 am

Bob

11/7/2013 06:11:21 am

11/23/2013 04:21:17 am

Hi Mary

I do not think that the physical characteristics of fat men were handled by this and similar articles in a Fat Accepting way. I could find similar comments and views of fat men in any fat hater website.

Charlia

12/5/2013 05:02:56 am

Hey William,
I'm curious as to why you feel this way? While I think that Virgie really made some really valid points, I come to this article from the perspective as a cisgender woman, so I cannot identify with the male perspective on fatphobia against men. I do identify, however, with the points that she makes about how being feminized is a bad thing in our oh-so-effed up society, especially as a person who as been treated badly for my body and for being a femme.
I also come from the perspective as someone who has seen my male friends treat themselves badly for their body (one friend who I was snuggling with called his chest "moobs" in a shaming way).
However, as I do not come to the table as a man, I am curious as to how you feel? (I don't mean to assume your gender) I think Virgie has done a good job pointing out that we all have our shit to work on, and I know that the fat acceptance movement has a whole lotta shit to work on, so let's discuss what that is and what we can do about it to fight all of these intersecting oppressions?

12/5/2013 09:26:24 am

Hi Charlia

Virgie’s approach to this issue is so wrong on several levels.

First her article has not about supporting and empowering fat men (fat people) which is what Fat Acceptance is suppose to be about. Virgie is more concerned with pronouncing that the fat troubles that fat men face are not their fat issues, rather a by product from the emasculation of their bodies.

Virgie’s article shows zero compassion, empathy or concern about these issues that some fat men face because these fat men are just a tool she is using to prove a point. Virgie’s point has nothing with “Fat being a male issue also”

Why is she focusing on these issues so closely and in such detail anyway? Society has a lot to say about fat female bodies and why they are not feminine, yet you do not see many articles in Fat Acceptance listing each fat female body part and in detail explaining how they are perceived to reduce fat female femininity.

Fat Acceptance has created a whole new way of looking at fat female bodies to combat Society’s fat bias. People like Virgie seem to willing to agree with Society’s fat bias toward fat male bodies than combat it. There was not one sentence in Virgie’s article that contained anything that would make fat men feel good about themselves. What kind of Fat Acceptance is she using?

If Fat Acceptance is going to reject the unfeminine views that Society has toward fat women then it has to reject any emasculation that Society projects on fat male bodies.

Personally I see no benefit for Fat Acceptance to be focusing in detail on what Society sees as unfeminine in fat women or emasculated in fat men.

12/7/2013 07:43:58 pm

It would be nice for once if someone would take the time to answer my questions if possible. Without closure I begin to wonder how many people in Fat Acceptance do not consider fat men to be part of the community or even have fat issues.

12/12/2013 09:24:14 pm

I know that I have been harping on the same subject for a while. The reason is that I will make a statement about people in Fat Acceptance who like Virgie Tovar focuses on some fat male bodies, not in a Fat Accepting mindset, but in vein that agrees more with the most negative that Society has to say about fat men. Virgie is basically saying that fat and masculinity do not mix.

People have joined into this conversation telling me that I am wrong and Virgie motives genuine even though the question if “Fat Men are a Feminist Issue” does not contribute much to the Acceptance of fat men. What is frustrating is that when I break things down these three questions:

1. How is the femininity of fat women viewed by Society and how is the femininity of fat women viewed by Fat Acceptance?
2. How is the masculinity of fat men viewed by Society and how is the masculinity of fat men viewed by Fat Acceptance (especially by people like Virgie Tovar)?
3. What is the logic and ethics behind how Fat Acceptance views/treats fat people of different gender with such different levels of acceptance?

What is frustrating is that discussions end after I ask these questions.

What good is Fat Acceptance if it willing to remind a gender discriminating community.

http://www.virgietovar.com/2/post/2013/09/fat-men-are-a-feminist-issue.html

http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/10/fat-men-feminist-issue/

12/12/2013 09:24:29 pm

12/31/2013 05:17:18 am

I am sad that no one here cares enough to discuss why similar negative thoughts of how fat women are unfeminine are not discussed in Fat Acceptance in similar vein as Virgie did here with fat male body issues?

You would never see the negativity that fat women face from Society discussed in Fat Acceptance without supportive, empowering and positive input from the Fat Acceptance Community.

What did Virgie think was in this article that would help fat men accept their bodies?

6/10/2015 01:36:14 am

William, it's b/c you aren't listening to the responses. Her point was NOT to make fat men feel better about themselves but to point out what they deal with in society. She is not condoning it, only describing it and in doing so, inherently working to undo that construct. If the blogs or FA spaces you find aren't what you want, create your own then.

2/9/2014 06:22:47 am

Some more comments on this article

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/02/episode-25/?fb_comment_id=fbc_649932828402125_5566189_661961007199307#f3f3261a7484922

Joshua

5/5/2014 10:23:14 am

Having come upon this blog entry by way of hyperlink from another associated article, I discover myself more engaged in reading this one than that from whence it came. Not usually how it goes, but there you have it.

I don't consider myself a feminist, nor a chauvinist. I'm just another human being. My fiancee routinely points out that, based just upon the things I say and stances I tend to take, that I would qualify as a feminist, but I digress.

I myself am an overweight male. It's been characterized by my physician as being 'mildly overweight', but it's noticeable enough to have been targeted for ridicule and scorn among my peers on occasion (when my rampant weirdness could have served as better fodder. But hey, I don't load other folks' conversational weapons for them).

William raises an issue with his questions here that I'd begun having myself about halfway through reading the post- for a person seeking equality between the sexes, it seems antithetical to effectively deny fat men their own gender issues as a result of being overweight by way of saying it's a women's issue/femininity issue.

The most common shot lobbed in my direction with regards to my being overweight is, 'You have three kids? What woman would fuck you? How did you manage that?' I've gotten that one quite a lot over the years. Normally I respond with something along the lines of 'It's called charm and personality, you knuckle-dragging troglodyte', or 'I'm a warlock, I used black magic, now get out of here before I turn you into a frog with a seagull's beak' (watching them slide uncomfortably away from the clearly mentally disturbed man). But that doesn't stop it from being harmful to my ego, it just gets them to knock it off for the time being.

I DO however, believe she has one thing right; it is about sexism. It's about the sexism projected on other men about what a 'proper man' is 'supposed to be'. This does not mean that others feminize the overweight male in question- most of the time, they merely brush them off as non-threatening, undisciplined, and undeserving of the camaraderie of the 'proper men'. They are viewed as still being male, but of a sub-type not worthy of their respect or consideration.

Not every 'normal-sized' male disrespects fat men for being feminine; plenty of them disrespect them for just not being 'proper'.

5/6/2014 08:19:19 am

Joshua, I've just got to say I'd likely deck someone who made the comments you describe to my ex, even though he's now an ex. What kind of idiot says things like that? I mean seriously... damn.

My ex was at his heaviest when we had two kids. No, I don't have a "fetish". It just wasn't an important issue to me. I loved him, and his body shape wasn't really an issue for me. I guess not everyone has that attitude, but to take it to the extreme of wondering how anyone could be attracted to another human being based on their "size" alone seems incredible to me. Childish, insecure, narcissistic... Not someone I'd want to hang around with. Or be in the same room with. Or on the same planet...

Good luck to you, Sir. You are articulate, intelligent, and insightful. IMHO, that's sexier than some jackass who would judge a fellow human based on a few extra pounds (or lack thereof), no matter how many crunches said jackass has done. :-p

5/16/2014 01:26:04 am

Could someone please show us some examples of articles concerning fat female body issues similar to this article about fat male body issues?

I have never seen any article in fat acceptance written about fat women with a similar atmosphere as this article of Tovar. I am not counting articles from fat haters.

johnathan

10/11/2014 04:16:30 am

no no no no no no no FUCK no. i'm sorry but thinking fat men are worth being mentioned or at least acknowledged because it's because they're perceived as women is really fucked up. I'm sorry but when i was obese since i was fucking 9 my main concern wasn't "looking like a woman" i thought i looked like a slob and i looked disgusting, i thought i looked lazy and felt that i looked stupid, unattractive and ugly. Have you ever seen movies where a fat dude is shamed because he looked feminine? or even games i might add???, and i hate the when people use oh but in movies and shows fat men are paired with trophy wives!(hello haven't you seen any of the queen latifah movies?, and i'm sure as fuck there's many more), umm if you haven't noticed fat men (fat people in general really) are used as fucking comedic props and their personality is centered around toxic assumptions about their body. or how about the years i've been verbally abused and bullied because of my weight? it DEFINITELY wasn't because i looked "feminine". I'm sorry but this really hit a sore spot, getting recognition or help because apparently male fatshaming is based on "sexism" rather than people thinking being fat is apparently disgusting and other negative things. this article seriously dismisses our experiences, because 'oh fat means curvy and curvy is feminine" is complete bullshit and it ERASES OUR EXPERIENCE S AS FAT MEN. fuck this dismissive bullshit, and me thinking that, finally! some recognition!, people acknowledge us! nope! i guess it's time to look for support somewhere else apparently! fuck this bullshit

10/19/2014 04:50:41 am

Johnathan,
I hear that you're pissed. I think you may have misread the article a little. I was intentionally very careful in constructing the wording of this piece because I know that this analysis is no way fully captures the nuance of fatphobia experienced by men. I specifically talk about this being "part" of the story and "some" of the reasoning. I do disagree that sexism plays absolutely no role, as you seem to be asserting, but perhaps you might read the piece again and see that I am not trying to explain the entirety of the issue or to chock it all up to sexism. I'm not an expert in masculinity studies, as I clearly mention, and so I can't possibly explain the entirety of the phenomenon.

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Fat Men Are A Feminist Issue

Virgie Tovar

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